This could work, maybe... just maybe!!

So those of you who've been here before will be well aware of the fact that I'm a hopeless failure at producing kids who eat well. My kids are energetic, smart, articulate, funny, gentle, playful and a myriad other fine qualities, but they STINK at eating. And by stink I mean, one in particular has the horrendously powerful weapon of the ability to woof his cookies on demand when the food is not pleasing to him. He's indiscriminating too... he is equally resistant to the normal sweets a child loves (ie. jelly beans, gummy bears, popsicles, juice) as he is to the stuff I want him to eat (fruit, veggies etc.) The other child is pretty decent when it comes to food, but has learned from his brother that it is ok to pull Ghandi-style hunger strikes, making the most dedicated and well versed Satyagraha practitioner look like a hack. It is exasperating in all kinds of ways, and I've tried so many tactics from hiding nutrition, to making dishes themselves special, yelling, screaming, crying, begging. Aside from the first on that list, which is insanely labour intensive, all tactics have been more or less, completely ineffectual. The doctor's advice was to wave my white flag and serve peanut butter at every meal if that is what they want. Eventually, she says, they'll get over it and want something more. Right. Thanks so much for that gem.

We just returned from holidays, where I experienced the most embarrassing event. One son, who shall remain nameless, would of course never eat anything when we were out for dinner, so as usual I didn't force the issue, and brought a hot dog with us as I always do so as to avoid ugly behaviour. Well, this time differed from other family dinners as there was a wee girl of 5 years who saw him eating the hot dog, and she pulled a fuss, refusing to eat a beautiful meal that she normally would have gobbled down, until her mum made her a hot dog too. I've lost count as to how many times I apologized for this, but it was high for sure. My ears still get red with embarrassment now. And then the frustration starts. Why??? Why the heck won't they eat?

So, I've stewed (those who know me know that I am nothing if not a total stewer), for days now, and have come up with a new tactic. The one I've avoided until now because all the "experts" and books tell you NO WAY. It is a simple principle, age old in fact. Bribery. Don't judge me... would you go to work if you weren't being paid to? Let's be honest.

This morning in a last ditch attempt to reduce the number of different foods I cook at any one given meal, I printed out a chart with 35 squares on it. Here's the deal: each time the boys eat the meal that we eat, or at least a selected portion thereof, they get a sticker in a box. 35 stickers, and the prize is $20 and a trip to a toy store. GASP. Yes, I said $20 and a trip to a toy store. Those of you with kids who eat well, go ahead and click your tongues in disgust. I'd be doing the same thing too. If I hadn't tried everything already, I wouldn't be reducing myself to this.

Today's menu for us was chop salads, with sliced chicken breast, blueberries, strawberries, celery and avocado. I was successfully able to get one child to eat one slice of cucumber (which was an enormous accomplishment if you know the child), applesauce mixed with vanilla yogurt (more fruit there than he's eaten in 2 months), and slice chicken breast (I know... not in nugget form- amazing right?). The other child ate the same chicken, his weight in blueberries and a good two inches of cucumber. This is what is classified as a successful meal in our house. So successful in fact, that I'm blogging about it. And what's more, the most resistant of children said to his brother "Chicken is good to eat, you should try it". No vomit invited. I couldn't be more proud if he climbed Kilimanjaro.

I've also finally discovered the power of desserts. One book I read and took as gospel years ago now, said always served dessert with the rest of the meal. You shouldn't teach kids that some food is more valuable than others, otherwise they'll value dessert over healthy choices. I just woke up. Some food is more valuable. That's why you have to eat it FIRST. Duh. The boys ate quickly when presented with three possibilities for dessert: chocolate soy ice cream, pudding or a rice krispie square. Anyone who knows my kids has seen how long it takes for one in particular to eat anything, usually FOREVER, but this meal was one hour top to tall, and chock a block with things that he's normally rejected with more fervour than you can imagine. I'm a happy proud mama...

Happy trails!

PS: I'm considering bribery as a potty training tactic too... sigh... one day these problems will seem insignificant right?

Flooding cookies... an exercise in masochism

 You know how sometimes something seems like a good idea, but really when push comes to shove, not so much? Somehow, this weekend I decided I needed to try flooding cookies. See, Matteo has his party at preschool and I rushed in to sign up for food (gotta get the cookies or cupcakes category... seriously, no one wants to be stuck with sandwiches). About three times a year I make some form of rolled cookies. I am my mother's daughter (although her vocabulary is much too expansive to lower herself to using this word), in that I hate that which is "poop-dinky". What's that you ask?

From our family dictionary:
poop-dinking: verb to muck about with piddly project which requires patience and are really more effort than they are worth; piddling around with something which is not a priority at the moment and could be done at a later moment.
adjective: poop-dinky

My mum is a fantastic baker, and the house never lacked for yummy baked goodies, but rolled cookies were not something we had. My mum didn't like rolling and cutting and decorating. Too labour intensive. My thoughts exactly. But, despite that, I still love the look of them, and more than that, I love the look on my kids' faces when they get ready to dig in. They are seriously excited by the fun shapes. I've always admired beautifully flooded cookies. For those of you not familiar with the term, flooding is the technique that is used to completely cover the top of a cookie in thin, hard icing. The preschool party seemed to be the perfect excuse to give this a go. Right?

Here's the thing. A double batch of flooded sugar cookies requires the following:
1) Mix the dough
2) Refrigerate a couple hours
3) Roll the darn things out
4) Bake them
5) Cool them
6) Outline them in royal icing
7) Flood them
8) Finish off the details in royal icing.

Masochism. There is no other word for the entire day I spent doing this (with a two hour break during which I went out the farm to help my sister tackle her pond department). This might be a fun thing to do for a special occasion, but I wouldn't recommend it when baking for the masses. It dawned on me at about 9:30 pm, while I was smack dab in the middle of flooding that, let's be honest, these kids eat paste and crayons. What do they care about the time put into these things? That being said, here's how it went:

1) I started by baking a double batch of sugar cookies. Not my favourite, but kids like them and they work well to decorate. I like the Betty Crocker Cookbook for these basic recipes- they are no fail, really.
If you are like me, completely uptight about most things, than no doubt you share my frustration with rolling cookies- the need for excess flour which powders over a nice finished product, the perpetual sticking etc. I have discovered some things to help this. I always roll the dough onto a very large cutting board that I cover in parchment paper (taped down on the underside so it stays put). Under this board goes a silicone mat that allows me to put pressure on the rolling pin without sliding the cutting board around on the counter. I LIGHTLY flour the parchment, and use saran wrap over the dough, under my rolling pin. This eliminates the need to flour the rolling pin, keeping the top of the cookies pristine and not floury.

2) Next, I made royal icing (thanks Martha Stewart for your recipe!), and outlined each cookie with a thin plain piping tip. Here's a nifty trick I've found somewhere online (source forgotten I'm afraid) for filling a piping bag with ZERO mess. It is amazing! Pull a nice amount of saran wrap and lay it on the counter. Scoop your icing into it. Fold the saran over the icing forming a log of sorts. Grasping each loose end of the saran log, swing it in circles, closing the icing in the log (see photos). Next cut one end of the log twist and place into the icing bag. NEAT AND TIDY. So great, perhaps even life changing. It's true. I don't get out much.

Twist ends, by swinging it in circles in front of your body.

Cut one end, and....

Voila! So very smart. Wish I had thought of it.

3) Next each cookie was outlined in royal icing

4) Have you ever used Wilton's website? Lots of good resources there if you care to practice masochism yourself. That was where I found a recipe for Poured Cookie icing. The trick here is to ensure it is liquid enough to spread. This icing uses corn syrup which makes it dry shiny. Rather pretty. I used a squirt bottle and squirted a bunch of icing on the cookie. The youtube videos I consulted recommended using a toothpick to spread the icing. I quickly abandoned this as it was too time consuming in favour of an icing knife/spatula thing that I use when I decorate cakes. Much faster. Spread the icing out being careful not to push it over the outline.

5) Once the flooding was done, easy but time consuming, I finished off the details with royal icing and chocolate chip eyes. Here's the result:

So in the final analysis, if this is on your bucket list, it is easy. But why take up valuable bucket list space with something like this? I've done it, and am happy that it was so easy. I think it would be an adorable birthday party favour- one for each kid wrapped in pretty cellophane bags or something, but I'm in no rush to repeat the mass order. That being said, Matteo didn't disappoint when I showed him this morning... his eyes certainly lit up. Love that. 

Happy trails! And Happy Easter!

I'm cooking... one day my kids will eat it.... right?

There are some days parenting when I pull out my hair. Sometimes I just (despite knowing better and caring more) want to let things happen. You know, let it go all Lord of the Flies in here. Survival of the fittest. Definitely Elio is the fittest. At the very least, he's the loudest. But, Matteo is the persistent, and slightly sneaky, antagonizer. It's exhausting to be mediating all the time. It's like being Whoopi, stuck between Joy and Elizabeth. Poor Whoopi.

There are also times when I feel like handing my kids a wooden spoon and telling them to fly at it. Certainly, they don't seem to care for what I offer them. So do it yourself boys. Elio's two- his menu would be lollipops, grapes and honeycomb cereal. Matteo, probably Kinder Surprises and Nutella. Out of the jar. Bread? Cut the middle man.

Yep. I have picky eaters. So picky in fact I have been known to take a certain child into the doctors office and demand medication. If not for him, for me.  Please. Since almost the beginning of his time, this child has made the Italian in me boil. It is ethnically, genetically and culturally ingrained in me. EAT SOMETHING!!! I can't help myself. Despite reading books about how to get your kid to eat, and the cognitively understanding the reasons for not forcing your kid to eat, I can't accept it. There is almost no one in my life that hasn't at some point in time assured me that this is a phase, but it has been long enough that I am quite sure I will be making my son a grilled cheese sandwich at his wedding. That will be the last one though. After that, he's his wife's problem. Recently I do have to admit, there has been some progress, but still, not enough to sustain this kid. You see, produce, anything that is grown from plant matter, fruit or veggies no difference, is verboten on my son's plate. He won't touch it with a 10 ft. pole. Heck, he won't touch it with an 11 ft. pole. I have made it my mission to find ways to get it into him. I am an alchemist... I turn fruit and veg into baked goods, sauces and breakfast foods. Sometimes it works, most often, it doesn't. We get by. But if I sound slightly coo-coo for cocoa puffs to you, there is the explanation. There is also no one in my life that has asked me, why make anything special? If he won't eat what you make him, tough, he can go hungry. But that's just it!! The kid is Ghandi... his passive resistance technique is perfected, and he has no issue with hunger, it only makes him more victorious.

This all is rather mystifying as we are good eaters. We shop the perimeter of the store. I have never bought a jar of baby food in my life, for either child. We eat well balanced and healthy, home-cooked meals. This is not to say we eat strange and hard to pronounce and spell roughage... I don't expect that of my kids, but you'd think being born into a family where good food is abundant, and mealtime is more than sustenance, (it is social and an  integral part of each day), that they'd not be so resistant. Oh well, it is what it is. Everyone has their struggles. Until then, I shall be satisfied to feed others.

Tonight for instance. My dad, Ren and Bill are coming for dinner. Usually I don't feed guests peasant food, but tonight I am. You know, the cheap, healthy and hearty sort of thing? They've been working hard. They need some "stick to the ribs". So chilli it is. The irony of this is not lost on me. One of my most loathed foods as a kid was anything involving beans. I HATED beans. I perfected the "mouthful-of-beans-mum-I-have-to-go-to-the-bathroom" trick. You know the one? When you spit the mouthful into the toilet and give it a good flush to so you don't have to swallow it? Of course you know the one. Ok, so maybe finicky eaters is karma. What is it my mum says? "If you spit in the air, it lands in your face."  At any rate, I like making chilli. I like freezing chilli. And in fact, I no longer mind eating chilli. It is seriously so convenient and easy, and so nutritious, how can you go wrong? Trouble is, I am incapable of making a reasonable amount. When I make chilli, I only know how to make enough to feed a small continent. Tonight's batch will serve tonight's meal for four of us (you know my kids won't touch it!!) and probably will allow for at least 7 foil packages of enough chilli for two people. I'm sending it home with my sister who is busy with the farm these days- who can't use a freezer full of ready-made meals right?

Given my hatred for beans, my chilli contains very few of them (although I do put some in), and lots of everything else: corn, red pepper,  mushrooms,  ground beef, pickle (yes pickle) and pineapple (yes pineapple). I like to put a bottle of beer in (leftover Winter Ale never hurt anyone), and sometimes, a squirt of BBQ sauce. Sounds disgusting, I know!! But it is so good. Just trust me on that. Served with buttered bread, a side salad, grated cheddar, a spoonful of sour cream and chives on top.... yum. Good groceries.

In the meantime, despite being a downtrodden soldier, oops, I mean mother, I shall persist. One day they shall get bored of hot dogs, grilled cheese and cereal and see things my way... right? I sure hope so! I love those little knuckleheads heads too much to give up without a fight at least. So I keep on keeping on. That's just the way it goes.

Happy trails!