Pink Fairy Princesses: An unproductive soapbox rant that I needed to get off my chest.

This week I had the rare opportunity to look for a present for little girls. I am the mother of two boys. But I am the product of a female dominated home- my poor dad was outnumbered by women, me my mum and my sister. And girly girl I was. Dolls, Barbie, and My Little Pony. This summed up my childhood. When I was pregnant with my oldest, I remember thinking "What the heck will I do if it is a boy?". Most definitely the thought was well out of my range of experience. What's more I convinced myself I was having a girl. When he was born by emergency C Section, I remember lying on the table and asking Ethan "What is it?". He said "It's a boy!". To which I said, ready for it?... "Are you sure?". To which Ethan responded "Um, Em.... yeah. Pretty sure." Followed by words which are not for mixed company which rather bluntly stated supporting evidence of his diagnosis. In those early days I held the new little mouse and thought "What am I going to do with you?".

My eyes were opened to the joys of tractors, and farm animals, and trains, and cowboys. By the time the second boy came around, I was pretty confident in my ability to figure out what appeals to small boys. But I have to say, there is still something that I love about shopping for little girls. It is fun. And still appeals to the little girl in me. And it is so easy, if you are buying clothes. There are a myriad of adorable choices available.

When my boys were invited to a birthday party for two of their little friends (Matteo is friends with the older sister, Elio with the younger), I got excited about present buying. But kid parties are not really conducive to buying clothes. They are more conducive to toys or books or activities. So off I went to the toy store, and quickly realized I had no idea what little girls like. How weird? Things change quickly. I went to the Barbie aisle, thinking, right, a classic. But I have to say Barbie has "matured" in her old age. Um... should I buy the fashion doll that looks like a transvestite? Or should I go for the one that looks like a Dominatrix? Are the girls going to be acting out scenes from Connie and Carla or 50 Shades of Grey? Moving on. Next section: princesses and fairies. Right. Well yes. If you are beautiful and skinny maybe you too can marry a handsome prince with a full head of lustrous blond hair and wear fabulous dresses and do nothing but sing while bluebirds hang out your laundry. Hope you like pink. Right. Next section: baby dolls. Yes. A classic. But want one that does not require double A batteries or excrete mock body fluids? Hard to find.

I have to say though, sadly the options aren't much better for boys either. Once a boy hits a certain age, there isn't much to pick from unless you like Lego or Hot Wheels. I find myself trying to gently guide my boys away from super hero figures that have crazy nuts abs and very large weapons as they obliterate the enemy into world peace (???). Yuck. My kids like Batman, and I'm ok with them watching the old episodes of the Adam West series. Lots of campy superhero action without the gratuitous violence that seems to dominate the action figure aisle.

And all I can think is that we are losing our creativity. The toys seem so specific and explicit, or overly sexual or violent. They seem built to act our very specific scenes and do not leave much room for open ended play. Can't we just pretend that baby has a wet diaper? Is it really necessary that I feel actual water puddle on my feet to do so?

I have to say I gave up. I decided that kids learn and play best by doing something. With Christmas coming, what could be more fun than baking? Kids like to accomplish something, just like we do. So decided that matching aprons and their very own baking utensils, as well as a great first cook book with excellent photos was in order. Feeling rather proud of my idea, and re-energized for shopping I skipped off to the book store to find the perfect book. And there I was faced with a shelf full of cookbooks: the Princess cookbook, the fairy cookbook, the pink cookbook, the little girl's cookbook, the party girl's cookbook, the hungry girl's cookbook. By this point in time I felt like yelling at the shelf. WHAT THE HECK ARE WE DOING TO OUR KIDS???? What is the point of all this forced gender stereotyping? Does nobody else watch the food network? Does nobody else realize how hot and masculine Rocco Dispirito is? Or Jamie Oliver? Or how the cake boss is neither a pink princess or a little fairy? Do they not know that one of the things I most love about my husband is his willingness to don an apron and cook for our family (and not simply BBQ). What if I were buying this for my sons? Maybe they'd like to cook too! Don't get me wrong, I realize the gift was indeed for two wee girls, but I just couldn't bring myself to force pink princess fairies down their throats. I scoured the shelf for something else, and sure enough, next to the floor, sandwiched between "Pink Princess Cookbook" (seriously, I'm not making this up) and "Princess Party Cookbook", I found a lovely relatively gender neutral cookbook that has gorgeous pictures, clear directions and a bazillion fun baking recipes. Phoof! The poor unsuspecting woman working the children's section narrowly avoided an earful from me.

But really, girls will always pretend they are princesses. They will always love fairy wings. Boys will always love cars. They will always love superhero capes. And there is nothing wrong with that. Having watched two kids grow from birth you do realize how innate those interests are.  But I really think there is something wrong with not offering them a variety of things to aspire to. Not everything needs gender specificity.


Alright. Sorry you guys. I'll climb off my soapbox long enough to show you how this gift turned out. I'm pretty happy with the result. I used the same method as I did for Elio's Bob the Builder construction aprons. Indeed this is a gender neutral pattern, which can be made from fabric that you think would suit the wearer best. I did these fully reversible (pockets on both sides), and with an elasticized neck strap. That way it fits over the head but then doesn't hang too low to function well as an apron (in our house aprons get worn when one thinks a bib is in order but your too old child would be mortified at the thought). These are a 2 hour project- short and sweet. Hopefully they like them- Elio gave them his seal of approval ("Which one is mine?"... we still have some work to do. Apparently he thinks he gets presents on everyone's birthday).  In the photo I have one lying on its "front" and the other lying on its "back". They are identical aside from size.

Are you in the birthday party phase? Do your kids have better social lives than you do by a long shot? What are you giving as presents?


Happy weekend people- hope it is a good one!


Happy trails!

Pom-poms and Googly Eyes: A guide to appropriate usage.

Oh October where did you go? I swear, I only closed my eyes for a second and you disappeared into a cloud of conference planning, pumpkin patch field trips, work evaluations and trips to the airport. So much to do, so little time. The result, a shameful lack of productivity on my part. What had begun as an October full of possible Halloween crafts wound up as one sad little pumpkin picture and a Q-Tip skeleton. That's all. Wouldn't it be great to quit everyday life and just craft? Sigh.

Well, hello November! I love the start of a new month- full of possibilities and a relatively clean calendar. I love it also, because it leads into Christmas. And my favourite part of Christmas is the getting ready bit. You know- all the wrapping, and card writing (yes, I still do that- someone has to preserve the one time a year you get to find fun stuff in the mailbox rather than the usual stack of flyers and bills), baking (Laverne and Shirley, aka. my sister Renata and I, do it up big in a blaze of masochistic glory... really the one time a year we bake.), and the crafts!

I also used to like the craft fairs. But this year is different. Today my aunt, my sis and I ventured to a local craft fair that I always go to. As I walked around I felt like I was in the movie Groundhog Day. You know, with Bill Murray? The one where each scene is more or less a repeat of the last, as he lives the day over and over again. As I looked at the tables, there was the SAME OLD stuff. Nothing new. Nothing terribly creative. My sister and I walked up and down the aisles realizing just how many crafts we've done over the years with our mum, and how little is new on the craft fair circuit. That's not to say there was nothing of interest there. I'm always in love with wood turning and pottery- as I could never do those things myself. And I'm also in love with the one gem of a knitter who produces beautiful sweaters and kids items that are artfully done with creativity and attention to detail. This year it was a lovely elderly European lady who did gorgeous sweaters and mittens. She'd even made sure she kept up with the times and had a selection of "texting mittens" (mittens with a tipless thumb and no fingers so you can still work your texting magic while staying warm. Funny that those looked more Dickensian than modern. But her stuff was beautiful. But in between was row upon row of run of the mill, outdated but likely fashionable once in the 80's  crafts. Many created out of pre-purchased pom poms and googly eyes. I'm not paying for anything made out of pre-purchased pom-poms.  I'll spare you the unedited soap-box style rant that I subject poor Renata and Auntie Cathy to in the car (it was far from being appropriate for mixed company), and I'll give you the Reader's Digest version. Pom-poms and googly eyes on a craft made by a child 10 years or younger- brilliant. Pom-poms and googly eyes on a craft made for purchase by a self-respecting adult- lacking in artistic merit. Basically I decided that I'm going to go on a craft fair hiatus.



So, what to do when frustrated by pop-pom googly eye crafts? Go home and pull out the pom-poms and googly eyes. Cut me some slack, this craft was to be done by children- 5 and under to be specific, so don't go accusing me of hypocrisy. Rewind to last year. The boys and I tried out a project that I found in Family Fun magazine. My favourite. Those Disney-owned geniuses transformed plastic bottles into adorable little snowmen with decoupage glue and tissue paper. Check out the original project here: http://familyfun.go.com/crafts/the-a-bottle-able-snowmen-1030092/. My issue with this was that we don't use anything in plastic bottles. So we used glass jars instead and they turned out super cute.
The beauty about these is that a monkey can make them. Perfect. Because I've got two of those! Little hands can easily take a make up sponge and smear Mod Podge on the glass, and smooth down a piece of tissue on top. With a bit of guidance they can make sure there are no holes and spaces too. It is easy enough for them to place on the eyes, and cover the lids for the hats. But this project is not without its flaws. First of all, battery powered anything is a pain the butt. Battery powered tea lights are no exception. They are more or less bits of useless junk. But if you want a hat, there is not enough air for a real candle. So you deal with dollar store junk breaking every year. Meh. It's all in the name of crafts. The other part that is a pain to do, is the nose. It isn't that easy to fashion a carrot (3D) out of tissue paper. If I were to do these ones again I would use Fimo or even Play dough for the nose. But all in all, a good project for wee hands- they really can accomplish a lot of the steps on this one.

This year I came across snowmen made from milk jugs on Pinterest. Adorable and easy peasy lemon squeezy for wee ones. Here's what they look like:
http://www.freefunchristmas.com/handmade-christmas-gifts/snowman-milk-jugs/. Nosey butt-in-ski that I am, I couldn't leave well enough alone. First of all, I didn't like having to use Christmas lights in them due to the plastic factor again. Second of all, I tried to peel the labels off of milk jugs for an easy Halloween project this year- the verdict: an hour and a half of my life I'll never get back. Besides, albeit cute, these suckers don't require much doing, and the doing that they do require (cutting of shapes), my three year old couldn't do successfully. So we decided to take this style of snowman head, and last year's fun craft which both boys thought was a good time, and we melded the two. Here's what we did:
Materials:

• Mod Podge or any other decoupage medium (actually, 50% white glue and 50% water does the trick fine if you don't want to buy the other)
• Sponge make-up wedges
• Glass jar (we used Salsa jars)
• gulp.... Pom-poms (2 inch ones any colour)
• double gulp... googly eyes
• Orange and black felt
• White glue
• Glue gun
• Metallic pipe cleaner
• Tea light

First, cut circles or squares (about 1 inch) from white tissue paper. Working in small sections, spread decoupage glue on the jar and cover with tissue paper shapes being sure not to leave gaps. Spread more decoupage glue on top of the tissue to seal. Continue until the jar is covered all the way around and let dry. Next cut a carrot nose out of felt, and 5 small circles (rocks) to form the snowman's mouth. Glue on the face using white glue. Next, the grown-up in the operation should use a glue gun to attach a pipe cleaner ear-muff strap (I twisted together 2 pipe cleaners for ours). Finally, using the glue gun once more, fix on the pop-poms to cover the ends of the pipe cleaners. Here's what they look like:

Ok. Granted. They do involve googly eyes and pom-poms. But they produced two very happy little boys. And the best part, no lid- they can use real tea-lights. You can tell from the photos how much better the real thing looks. My intent this year was to make the same project, but orange for Halloween. Certainly these could easily be made jack-o-lanterns instead. But we'll see next year how keen we are to repeat the same sort of thing.

Maybe try this one out yourself with your own little monkeys... what will yours look like? I'm curious!
Happy trails!